The reason behind the word hate

“Never be too attach to a person. Never trust people because they will end up hurting you.” Those thoughts always come to my mind whenever I’m hearing your name. The agony that you created in my life, those hanging questions remained unanswered because you were not brave enough to face me, and my heart that is still suffering in pain because you left me here waiting and alone.

I laugh about it but the truth is it is still aching. Your visage is still with me every day, your scent is still that scent that I smell every day, and your words are still part of the reality that I don’t want to see, feel and hear. I haven’t been so vocal about it but the truth is my heart is still aching, the cracks in my fragile heart doesn’t seem to heal anymore, I thought that it was okay not until I realize that all that I've experienced with you were just part of your tactics because you needed me.

I've loved you, but I think it was never worth it. I do not deserve this pain that I am feeling right now, I am never deserving for this abandonment after all the things that I’ve done for you. You left me hanging and that’s the most painful part. You make me believe that fairytales do exist, that I just need to believe that something might happen and it will definitely happen, the fact that you made me believe broke my heart. You are good in creating stories which are not real in the first place. You left me, miserably crying over you while you are somewhere painting the town red.

I hate you. I hate you for making me believe that I can trust the world. I hate myself for trusting you that way. Now that you’re not already in my world I don’t know how to pick all the pieces of my shattered heart. I don’t exactly know where to start. What will I do? How can I bring back that faith that I lost when you abandon me? How? Why did I trust someone like you?

You’re just a stranger, a passerby, not until you broke my heart. Thank you for breaking it, now I don’t know where to go, what to do, and how to forget you.