I am tired of fighting for the things that I have to give up because of tragedies that usually happen in my head. I do not know why I am feeling like this. I do not want to feel inferior, sad, or anything in between those feelings, all I want to do is be happy. But how will I do it? I am tired of exerting too much effort to something that will never be mine. I am afraid of being pathetic and fight for things that will only make my life complicated. All I want to do is run, I do not want to see the things that make me gloomy, I want to avoid the shadow that usually run after me, but like a masochist I chase after everything I want, even though I need to leave those things because they are not mine, no, there was I time that I thought they were all mine, then things happened.
I am just tired of fighting for things. I want to hide in a place where I can be myself or where I can own the things that are supposedly mine. I do not want to fight for things anymore, I just want to stop and walkaway. But I guess that giving up without fighting makes me so shameful and coward. And I know that I am all those things: I am shameful and coward and I am not used to fighting for what I truly feel. I think I have no reason to fight because sometimes people are too selfish making me feel like I cannot have anything while they are there owning the whole world. I guess this will seal everything, I should just let it pass, let go of those things and convert all the negative feelings into something more significant. I do not want to be bothered by it anymore, I want to move on. I do not want to be vulnerable because I know that I cannot be that person forever.
I want to own things and I know that I deserve all of it.
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