Cheeseballs on a Sunday

So that what if wasn't here anymore, instead I always wake-up with a good morning text message, an invitation to eat somewhere, and your hands holding me.

This is a random thought saying how grateful I am because you finally came into my life. After 2 years of being in the friendzone because we both believe that forever is just a word and that being friends is the best we could be, I am glad that we both ruin it. This is an early declaration but I want to write how happy I am when I am with you.

So to the guy who I cried to last year, I have nothing but gratefulness to you. To the guy who sang random melodies, I would like you to know that you really got me there. To the guy who did not give up no matter how hard it is to be with you, I would like you to know that I am falling a little bit deeper for you. You. make. me. happy. and. yes. I. will. keep. you. because. you. are. you.

You find it baduy whenever we say I love you, heck it is, but I will be baduy if I have to just to express how happy I am and how I consider you as one of my answered prayers. After all the challenges and pain that we have to hurdle I am glad that you are standing beside me and reassuring me that everything will be better.

So now, let me end this with a simple message that I sent to you last week: "I wouldn't mind encountering bad days with you if good days would be similar with this one." 

I love you, love, flaws and all, nothing more, nothing less.

XX

LSS

So this is what happened after few months of feeling better and finding myself, I will go out and see the world, and have a bigger and different perspective.

I was never a fan of a crowd, maybe because I am usually swallowed by insecurities and I am in nature a shy person. But then again, once music is involve, I want to get lost and risk it all. So I watched it with a person who I do not know why I am with. I risk it all not because I am expecting something in return but I wanted to know how it feels like to be with people and to just simply listen to the art of each melody an artist can make.

I am such an awkward person when it comes to going out, to explaining what I am feeling, and I have this talent of pushing people away but then again at that moment, all I want to do is be in your arms, and just watch that freaking show. It is not just the music that makes it all beautiful and smooth, it is how natural it was to be with you, it was how you asked me if I am okay, it was the reassurance that you won't leave me at that moment, and you won't just let me out of your grasp.

And so the second symphony happened. The second one is different from the first. The second one allowed me to accept the fact that I like you, yes you. It was the way I got mad when you were not with me, the way that I felt when you welcome me in your arms, the way you watched me do things, it was how you shouted when I went to the middle of the road and the way I let myself hold you too. It was the moment when I let you dragged me and brought me to your friends and congratulate them.  It was when I felt my heart again, bouncing in happiness, and suddenly I swallowed bunch of butterflies again and they were playing in my stomach once more. It was in general your arms that got me in this situation, the way I felt, the imitation of the sound that we heard from the band, your hands leading me into places that I promised not to cross again, the way you play with my arm as if I am a musical instrument, and my fingers-crossed moment for it not to end. Those moments were too vivid that it is so hard for me to forget.

Oh, how I wish to hold you and ask you to stay, even if I am afraid that you won't.